Monday, November 24, 2008
It is going to happen if it hasn't already. One of these days your child is going to not just lie to you, but even though you are darn close to certain that they've lied, they are going to dig in and deny it. Maybe even to the point that they'll begin to believe themselves that they didn't do or say whatever they are lying about.
This is a little bit heart breaking when this happens, but it is inevitable. And fortunately like most childhood misbehavior there is learning opportunity hidden within.
In handling lying there are a couple of things to avoid. One is letting your child think that she got by with lying without you knowing (or caring). On the other end of the continuum is making sure, even though it is important to let them know that you're pretty certain that they did lie, that you don't end up labeling your child as a "liar". Even if you have a child that lies fairly frequently that label is certain to work against you. After all what do liars do. If that label sticks, I can predict a lot of what is likely to happen in your relationship. And it isn't pretty. In upcoming posts I will take you through a middle path that winds its way between both of those errors.